Understanding The Prophet's Life
From Issue: 931 [Read full issue]
Manhood
Today, a man is expected to be stoic, unemotional, inexpressive, tough, and unbending. Physical aggression is glorified and emotional expressiveness ridiculed. One of the most common definitions of manhood today is the lack of emotional expressiveness. It is almost universally believed that to cry is 'unmanly' and weak. And yet the Prophet (peace be upon him) described it very differently. When the Prophet was handed his daughter's son who was dying, his eyes flooded with tears. His companion Saad then told him, "What is this, Prophet of God?" He said, "This is a mercy that the Almighty has made in the hearts of His servants. And surely God has mercy to the merciful ones among His servants." [Bukhari]
But today, a man is not only expected to hide feelings of sadness, he is taught early on that even other emotions are not to be expressed. During the time of the Prophet , there were some men who believed the same. Once while a villager was present, Prophet Muhammad kissed his grandsons on the forehead. At that, the villager said with surprise, "I have ten children. I have never kissed any of them!" Prophet Muhammad looked at him and said, "He who does not have mercy will not have mercy upon him." [Bukhari] In fact, with regards to showing affection, the Prophet was very clear. He said: "If a man loves his brother in faith, he should tell him that he loves him." [Abu Dawud]
Compiled From:
"Reclaim Your Heart" - Yasmin Mogahed