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From Issue: 738 [Read full issue]

Buddies and Bullies

A lot of times, when a parent or teacher tells a kid that they are using words to hurt and/or scare another kid, they try to pass off their remarks as just jokes. "I'm only teasing her," you hear bullies say. But hurtful cracks are some of the cruelest weapons that bullies can use against a helpless kid.

Sure, I understand that everybody jokes around. And there's nothing wrong with having fun with your friends. None of us wants to be too sensitive. There's nothing wrong with being able to take a joke.

But everyone needs to know the difference between "good" teasing and "bad" teasing. There are some very clear ways you can tell the difference between jokes among buddies and harmful insults from bullies.

Buddies:

  • Joke around in ways that make you both laugh.
  • Don'ts joke to hurt your feelings on purpose.
  • Stop joking if they think they might hurt your feelings.
  • Don't get angry if you joke back with them.

Bullies:

  • Always use jokes to hurt you.
  • Refuse to allow you to joke in return.
  • Keep insulting you even after they know they have hurt your feelings.
  • Often get upset when you ignore their jokes.

Compiled From:
"Life Strategies for Dealing with Bullies" - Jay McGraw, pp. 21, 22

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